Again
by sevEnteenGRaMmArlYMistakeS
Summary: A series of short, poem-like one-shots that end up telling a story Rated M for a suicidal theme. DRAMIONE
1. The Lake

The Lake

* * *

So basically this is a series of short, poem-like one-shots on Draco Malfoy. Eventually the chapters WILL tell a story and yes, there will be a happy ending.

DISCLAIMER: Draco Malfoy belongs to J

Thanks for reading, review? Maybe?

Rating is M because of the suicidal theme.

* * *

What is life?

Can we ever be truly happy?

Can **I** really be happy?

It's cliché,

Saying this,

Standing on a cliff

Looking over the glassy expanse

Of the lake

I'm not usually like this

There's something wrong with me

I'm not food,

But something's off.

I'm not fit to live.

That makes you jump, doesn't it?

Makes me jump too.

Malfoys are supposed to be perfect

Supposed to be classy

Arrogant

Evil

Slytherin

Intelligent

Handsome

But I fell short.

Maybe your vision of perfect is skewed.

Maybe mine is

But we'll never know

'Cause I'm going somewhere you'll never see me again

You're smirking in glee, aren't you?

I'm smirking too

But there are tears in my eyes

Silver droplets

Falling

Down

Like me

And I'm gone.


	2. The Rescue

The Rescue

* * *

Here's Part 2

Yes, It's Dramione, sorry darlings

It's REALLY REALLY fun writing this :)

DISCLAIMER: Not me, all J

Here's to reading and reviewing...ok, maybe not.

* * *

There's a bright light

It's blinding

Am I in heaven?

Finally?

Hah.

Why would I be in heaven?

Hell's more fitting.

My eyes open

Bright orbs shining

Reflecting the sun

A pounding starts in my head

I close my eyes again.

It's too bright

Involuntarily

I shiver

Was hell cold?

I didn't think so.

Where was I, then?

Am I dead?

Alive?

Injured?

Sick?

In-between?

Instead,

I feel hair

Brushing my face

My eyes shoot open again

To see

Hermione Granger

Is she dead too?


	3. The Scream

The Scream

* * *

DISCLAIMER:Not mine, how many times do I have to tell you?

Thanks for reading

* * *

She's bending over me.

Why?

Her lips are moving now.

What's she saying?

She's fading in,

Fading out.

Focus, Draco!

I have a ton of questions

They're not being answered

Can somebody hear me?

Will somebody hear me?

She's looking clearer

I squint my eyes

There's a frown on her face

She's talking again.

What's she saying?

My body isn't responding to my orders

Black spots swim into my vision

No.

No,

No.

I force my eyes to stay open.

Her actions are bigger now

Louder

She's screaming.

She's screaming...

For help.


	4. The Hospital Wing

The Hospital Wing

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't want to end up in Fanfiction Jail, so yeah, all credit goes to J (rightly so)

Remember when I said there was a happy ending...Just to say it's not so much happy as bittersweet and yes, Draco and Hermione do end up together.

Thanks for reading and reviewing (kiTTzu I'm looking at you)

* * *

I count four potions

Ten beds

Five sets of medical equipment

Ninety visible tiles

One matron

Four teachers

The Headmaster

Three Gryffindors

And the whole of the Slytherin house.

It's definitely the Hogwarts Hospital Wing,

But what's happening?

I'm still confused.

The last thing I remember was Granger.

And my suicide

But did I really die?

Should it really be

My **attempted** suicide?

Is this reality?

A dream?

Heaven?

Hell?

Am I alive?

Are they alive?

Or are we all dead?

They don't seem to have realised that I'm awake.

Dumbledore throws me a glance

And walks over

Maybe not.

He asks me if I'm alright

I want to snark at him

But I say yes

Because they mustn't know about the suicide

Or they'll take me away

Take my choices away from me

Prevent me from dying

I struggle to get the words out.

Sir,

Am I...

Am I...

Alive?


	5. The Decision

The Decision

* * *

DISCLAIMER: All yours, J

LANGUAGE WARNING (use of F word)

Thanks for reading and/or reviewing

This is what happens when you're feeling angsty :) :(

* * *

I'm alive

Granger "saved" me

Fuck

I was supposed to die

I **wanted** to die

I'll have to try again

Again

Again

And again

Until I'm free of this world

Until the world's free of me

We'll all be happier then, won't we?

Both

Me

And

You.


	6. The Potion

The Potion

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I borrowed your characters for a bit, J, but they're actually yours.

Mind reading? Reviewing? It's ok if you don't though 'cause this is actual rubbish from a teenage girl who thinks she can write poetry

Again, use of F word (Rating is M, what did you expect :))

* * *

I'm out the Hospital Wing

Finally

There are many books around me

A caldron in the middle of the books

And potion ingredients scattered everywhere

Drink in the sight

I hardly ever do this

But

Desperate times call for desperate measures

And my death is a desperate measure

I stir the potion clockwise

Then add some more ingredients

The potion's almost done

I lean back

Twirl my wand

And I sigh

If this doesn't work

I'm fucked


	7. The Fire

The Fire

* * *

DISCLAIMER: You don't really notice these but when they're not there...all hell breaks loose. So J, you're amazing, and you and only you have ownership of these awesome characters that I like to manipulate.

Potion here is the "Death Potion" I found it on Harry Potter Wiki so if you search for "Death Potion Harry Potter" you should be able to find more information on it. The potion is activated by the person's wand and when activated, will burn through the chair and the person. It was used as a death sentence in America in the 1920's.

* * *

I went to buy another wand yesterday

In case the potion didn't work

Then I would still be able

To defend myself.

Granger nearly caught me just now

She was doing her rounds

I just escaped

Now I'm here

In the room of requirement

Holding a potion flask

And my wand.

I move to the chair

Suspended over a shallow basin

In the middle of the room

The walls are bare,

White,

Just like I wanted.

A last final death wish

I get on the chair

Take a moment

To remember

This life

Even though it was anything but pleasant

My hand opens

The potion falls

And the glass shatters

Some shards catching the light

Creating a beautiful rainbow

A smile spreads across my face

The last thing they'll see me doing.

I let my other hand go lax

And my wand falls.


	8. The Wish

The Wish

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, though thanks for the compliment.

Read and review?

* * *

The Gods are against me

If the Gods are indeed real.

The potion didn't work

Granger noticed the potion last night

Somehow switched my wand with a fake one

And so

I'm not dead yet

I need to obliviate Granger

She's messing up everything

If she wanted to be nice

She should just let me die

It's my wish

It's what I want

I've got nobody who cares for me

No one's going to be hurt

By me dying

Except me

And I don't matter


	9. The Problem

The Problem

* * *

Filler chapter, don't kill me

DISCLAIMER: I'd love to be J, but I'm not.

Thanks for reading and reviewing ppl

* * *

I've been in the library

For days

It's rare, isn't it?

The haughty,

Arrogant,

Cold,

Scary

Malfoy

In the library,

Looking for books?

Again, desperate times call for desperate measures

I've got to find something that will kill me

Without Granger messing it up

I've obliviated her already,

But is that going to stop her from sticking her nose in my business?

No.

Where's that book again?


	10. The Curse

The Curse

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter

Use of F word

Thanks for reading!

* * *

The Forbidden Forest

It's a wonderful place

My boots crunch against the leaves as I go in deeper

There's a rustling to my left

Fucking animals

It's my death day

Mind shutting up?

I reach a clearing

Seems like a nice place to die

I pull out my wand

Ready to say the words

When a voice startles me.


	11. The Talk

The Talk

* * *

DISCLAIMER: If I was J, I wouldn't be writing this.

This chapter is awful, sorry! And there are so many double entendres in this (or am I just perverted), probably because I was listening to Nicki Minaj while writing this :)

To be honest, Harry Potter is just FULL of double entendres. My friends and I have spent whole library lessons giggling over reading the first chapter of Order of the Phoenix out of context.

Read? Review? Maybe?

* * *

Don't do this, Malfoy

That's what Granger said

Why should she care?

She disarms me, but I'm too shocked to care

What is she doing here, again?

As if she can hear me, she answers

She says she was looking for potion ingredients

For Slughorn

And she saw me

And she came

Because I still deserved to live

Even though I was a Malfoy

She spat the last word

I didn't blame her.

I demanded my wand back.

She said no.

I disarmed her and took back my wand.

She looked shocked

Yes, Granger, I can do wandless magic.

I shook my head.

And sighed.

I couldn't die today.

Not anymore.

I threw her wand on the floor.

She would be on the lookout the whole night.

So I went back to my room.

Dying could wait another day.


	12. The Wait

The Wait

* * *

DISCLAIMER:HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

This is what happens when you're listening to the Suicide Squad soundtrack while writing a story.

* * *

The metal rests in my hand

It's cold.

Freezing cold.

Like my heart

And my body.

I gingerly put the gun on my table

Gun.

The word rolls off my tongue like butter.

What a beautiful name

For a bringer of death.


	13. The Encounter

The Encounter

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Don't own it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing

I listened to 'Lie' by 'BTS' through this chapter. IT'S AMAZING

* * *

Granger.

Her again.

She crashed into me today

I was walking down the corridor

And we collided

Ink in our hair

Books on the floor

Heads dizzy.

I got up before her.

Cleaned myself up

Repaired my stuff

Left.

I was hardly five yards down the corridor

When she said my name

I turned

She whispered, please.

I turned back

Walked away.

And now I'm feeling guilty

Why?

Am I human after all?


	14. The Mist

The Mist

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned it. But Dramione isn't in the Harry Potter Universe so no, I don't own it.

I'm proud of this chapter. And now I feel really bad for being arrogant.

Thanks for reading and reviewing

* * *

I was wandering yesterday

Looking for a place

To die

Somewhere undetectable.

Beautiful

But

Eerie.

I found one

The gun's stashed there

Under some leaves

And several spells

It was a Care of Magical Creatures teaching area

But there weren't any lessons on Saturday.


	15. The Gun

The Gun

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

Listening to 'Sucker For Pain' from the 'Suicide Squad' soundtrack. It's rlly good. And Lil' Wayne's verse is lit AF.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. Was this chapter angsty enough? We're getting closer to the end. Only about 4 chapters left now.

* * *

The dappled moonlight shone through the leaves

Catching on my hair

Making me look like a starlit prince

I had plugged a pair of muggle headphones into an iPod earlier this evening.

Since we were outside Hogwarts,

The music was playing on full blast.

A disgrace to the Malfoy family, indeed.

Listening to muggle music?

Using muggle technology?

What a shame, Draco.

But the music sounded good

So much better than the wizarding opera on the wireless.

And I was going to die anyway.

I closed my eyes and took in the sound

Opened my silver orbs again, and we were there.

In the clearing

Where I would die.

I dug in the leaves

And held up the gun.

The moonlight shimmered on it.

Beauty in danger.


	16. The Blood

The Blood

* * *

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Draco. Or Hermione. Or anyone in the Harry Potter universe.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! You have just been treated to dark!Draco in a very bad form (I CAN"T WRITE, SORRY kiTTzu!)

Also, is 'bastard' a swear word?

* * *

I was such a dramatic bastard.

Hands covered in my blood, I removed the safety on the gun

I had slit my finger with a potion knife mere minutes ago for that purpose

Blood on the gun was just so...

Enthrallingly devious.

Especially if it was your own.

A dark smirk made its way on my face.

I shot the tree stump beside me to test the gun.

The bullet embedded itself into the wood.

Imagine what the bullet would do to my body.

As the songs on the iPod continued to play on,

I took a deep breath

In

Out

Placed the gun to my temple

Tightened the trigger

And screamed.

But the gun didn't fire at me.


	17. The Unintended

The Unintended.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I wish, but no.

Listening to 'Dope' by 'BTS' and rocking out then feeling bad 'cause I'm literally writing half of a death scene :)

Thanks for staying

And also the plot twist was obvious as heck, sorry. Originally, I wanted Hermione to die, but I couldn't bring myself to do it :(

* * *

I stared at the body beside me.

Hermione Granger.

My lips parted in shock.

Had I...

Had I...

Shot her?

No.

There was blood on her hands.

She had pulled the gun away from me.

Why?

Hermione Granger didn't deserve to die.

She was a good person

She had friends.

Family.

Love.

I didn't.

I deserved to die.

I rushed over to her.

Turned her over

Checked her pulse.

It was there.

Faint.

But there.

She didn't have much time.

I summoned some medical supplies.

Fixed her up.

She would live.

But I wouldn't.

I took the gun again.

Put it to my temple

And shot.


	18. The Realisation

The Realisation

* * *

DISCLAIMER: No, sorry, wrong person. J owns this, not me.

Thanks for staying! Only one more chapter :( :)

AND THE ANGST. YAY!

from Hermione's PoV this time.

* * *

I awoke

Where were we?

An alarming pain shot through my arm.

I looked down to see

A bandage.

Last night's memories came rushing back.

Where was Malfoy?

I stood up, gingerly.

Cast my eyes around

And saw

Malfoy

On the floor

Leaking blood.

Headphones still blasting music

A gun clutched in his hand

A bullet in his head

A smirk on his face


	19. The Aftermath

The Aftermath

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Sorry, wrong person. It's J who owns these lovely characters, not me.

IT'S FINISHED! I DID IT! I COMPLETED AN EFFIN STORY :)

Thanks for reading, reviewing and viewing.

Yes, I said Dramione, but it turned out completely different so here it is: Pre-Romance Dramione that died mid-way through :)

And also one more note, at the end, when 'mione says 'till death do us part,' she means that since Malfoy is still a part of her, he will only go away ('part') once she's dead. Just to clear that up.

* * *

Year after year, they ask me to take it down

They'll do anything to get that picture off my wall

Why?

It's **him**.

They'll burn it

Blackmail it

Lecture me for hours

 **Anything**.

But

It's always back up the next time they visit.

Ah.

Ron and Harry

Somehow

They still hate Malfoy

And he's dead.

Not to me, though.

The man I now treat with equal parts respect and hate

Is always there

Part of me

In ways that even I cannot understand.

It's like he never died

With everybody around me still talking about him

Years after his death.

I still get nightmares about that night

The bullet wound is still visible

It's on my left arm

My little 'dark mark'

I think of Malfoy when I see it.

It brings a pained smile to my face.

I hope he's happy now.

Even after all he went through.

And as the idiom goes,

Till death do us part.


End file.
